Drinking from a cup looks simple, but it is one of the most complex oral motor skills your child will learn in the first three years. Every sip asks the lips, tongue, jaw, and cheeks to work together, and in a different way for each type of cup. Understanding what is happening inside your child’s mouth can help you choose the right cup at the right time and know how to help when things get messy.
Where It All Starts: The Suckle
Babies are born with a suckle pattern. The tongue moves forward and back in a rhythmic in-out motion, the jaw moves up and down with it, and the lips form a loose seal around the nipple. This pattern is perfect for breast and bottle feeding, and the jaw, lips, and tongue all move together as one unit.
As your baby grows, the goal is to separate those movements so that each part can work on its own. This is called dissociation, and it is the foundation for mature drinking, chewing, and eventually clear speech. The tongue learns to move up and back rather than forward and out, the lips learn to close actively, and the jaw learns to hold steady so the tongue and lips can do the fine work.
Each cup stage builds one piece of that puzzle.
Stage 1: The Open Cup (Around 6 Months)
What the mouth is learning: When you tip a small open cup onto your baby’s lower lip, the jaw has to hold still, the upper lip has to come down to meet the liquid, and the tongue has to stay back and control a small amount of liquid before swallowing. This builds lip closure, tongue control, and jaw stability.
What you might see at first: Lots of dribbling, the tongue poking out under the rim, the head tipping back, or your baby biting down on the cup edge. Biting is common and is your child’s way of creating stability the jaw can’t yet provide on its own.
Ways to help:
- Seat your baby upright with hips, knees, and ankles supported. A stable body makes a stable jaw possible.
- Offer support under the chin with your free hand, as a gentle shelf for the jaw rather than pushing the mouth closed.
- Use a small cup with very little liquid, just a teaspoon or two. Less liquid means less to control.
- Try a cut-out cup, which has a notch for the nose. It lets you tip the cup without your baby tilting their head back, which keeps the airway in a safer position.
- Go slowly and let your baby lead. Tip, let them sip, then bring the cup back upright so they can swallow before the next sip.
- Slightly thicker liquids, such as a thin smoothie or thinned yogurt, move more slowly and can be easier to manage while your baby is learning.
Stage 2: The Straw Cup (9 to 12 Months)
What the mouth is learning: Straw drinking requires the lips to round and seal around the straw while the tongue pulls back and creates suction. This is a big step away from the forward suckle and strengthens lip rounding, cheek control, and tongue retraction.
What you might see at first: Your child may put the straw far back on the tongue, push the tongue underneath the straw, chew on it, or try to suckle it like a bottle nipple. Many children simply don’t understand yet that they need to pull liquid up.
Ways to help:
- Use a Honey Bear–style squeeze cup. Gently squeeze so a small amount of liquid rises into the straw and reaches your child’s lips. They taste the reward and learn that closing their lips brings liquid in. Gradually squeeze less until they are doing the pulling themselves.
- Place the straw on the lips, not on the tongue. The straw should rest just between the lips, about a quarter inch into the mouth.
- Shorten the straw. A long straw lets the tongue slide underneath and fall back into the suckle pattern. Trimming it keeps the work at the lips.
- Use a lip-block or a narrow straw so the lips have something firm to close around.
- Practice with thicker liquids once suction starts to develop, since they require stronger, more sustained lip and cheek work.
Stage 3: Weaning and Refining (12 to 18 Months)
What the mouth is learning: Now your toddler is combining the skills. Holding a small open cup, straw cup, or soft-spout transition cup during meals lets them practice controlling the flow themselves while building hand-eye coordination and the timing between bringing the cup up and closing the lips.
What you might see: Spills, over-tipping, gulping too much at once, or wanting to put the cup down mid-sip. This is normal learning.
Ways to help:
- Offer cups at mealtimes while seated, not while walking or playing, so your child can focus on the skill and swallow safely.
- Keep liquid amounts small so spills are low-stakes and flow is easier to manage.
- Choose cups with two handles for easier grasp and more controlled tipping.
- Model drinking yourself. Toddlers learn a great deal by watching you sip from an open cup.
- If you use a soft-spout cup, keep it as a short bridge, not the main cup, and pair it with open cup and straw practice.
Stage 4: Mastery (2 to 3 Years)
By now your child’s jaw is steady, the lips close actively on the cup rim, and the tongue stays inside the mouth, managing liquid with smooth, controlled swallows. Most children can drink from a regular small open cup with only occasional spills. Continue offering a variety of cups so the skills stay flexible.
A Word About Hard-Spout Sippy Cups
Traditional hard-spout or valve-heavy sippy cups are convenient for spill-proofing, but they encourage the same forward tongue movement as the bottle. Used long-term, they can keep children in an immature suckle pattern instead of moving toward the mature tongue and lip movements needed for drinking, eating, and speech. They’re fine for occasional use in the car, but they shouldn’t be the everyday cup.
When to Reach Out to a Feeding Therapist
Messiness is part of learning, but some signs are worth a closer look:
- Frequent coughing, choking, or gagging while drinking
- A wet or gurgly voice after drinking
- Frequent chest congestion or respiratory illnesses
- Heavy spillage from the mouth well past 18 months
- Not able to drink from a straw or open cup by around 18 months
- Strong refusal of anything other than the bottle past the toddler years
- Consistent tongue pushing forward during drinking or eating after age 2
A pediatric feeding therapist can look at how your child’s lips, tongue, and jaw are working together and give you strategies tailored to your child. If you have questions about your child’s drinking or feeding development, our feeding team at PediaSpeech is always happy to help.